The Fit Front – The Secret to Long Life

The Fit Front – The Secret to Long Life

Good morning!

TKP Diet

In case you missed last week’s fitness  update where I shared my “meal plan”, the fit front has changed quite a bit for me in recent months. I have never felt better. Really! I find it so fascinating how being less strict and less disciplined makes for the best. I read this article that interviewed people living past the age of one hundred. NONE of them were runners, bodybuilders, or super disciplined in their diet. One even said that his secret to long life was NOT eating healthy! This all made me understand a little more why my current approach to fitness is working so well. Extremes of any kind are not good for us. Our society loves extremes. So many of us eat ALL the junk or we make the way we eat and exercise our identity! This is not right.

In this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these:

the righteous perishing in their righteousness,
    and the wicked living long in their wickedness.
16 Do not be overrighteous,
    neither be overwise—
    why destroy yourself?
17 Do not be overwicked,
    and do not be a fool—
    why die before your time?
18 It is good to grasp the one
    and not let go of the other.
    Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.

Ecclesiastes 7:15-18

Why die before your time? I am definitely NOT saying that I think we should just throw all caution to the wind and eat a bunch of junk, drink a bunch of boos, and start a smoking habit (ew.) Definitely not. But what I do know is that this article just goes to show that God has a day planned for each of us that we will die and it doesn’t matter what we eat or drink or even smoke, we will not die until that day. In the meantime, are our choices going to enhance or hurt our wellbeing? Is what we are eating and what we are drinking making us the best vessel for God’s work?

I can definitely attest to the fact that a lifestyle of drinking, smoking, and poor eating habits will lead to poor health and a poor state of mind. You may not die, but you will feel close to it! But at the same time, being super strict and pushing yourself to the max for every single workout can be bad too. A healthy amount of exercise will lift your mood and energize you to better tend to your priorities. But too much exercise may give you defined abs, biceps, and a thigh gap but will drain you and leave you with no energy for life! That’s what was happening to me. My workouts were leaving me with no energy for the things that I really needed to be doing. Little things like, oh you know, managing my household.

Diet is another beast in itself. From experience, I can say that it is a thousand times true that restriction only leads to weight GAIN. Our minds do not want to feel deprived. They will torture us unit they feel satisfied! That is why when we are on a diet that restricts certain foods or food groups, binging is inevitable. It may be days, weeks, months, or even years but when we give in, we give in HARD. I dieted for twenty-one years. I was never satisfied after meals. I ate ALL of whatever was in front of me. It didn’t matter how much water I drank or how many vegetables I bulked my meal up with, I could always eat more. People would make comments about the size of my meals all the time but I could have honestly eaten two or three of them and sometimes did! When I think of eating that much now, it seems daunting. But the fact was that even though I was eating loads of proteins and vegetables and all things healthy, I was still deprived.

We have all followed a diet that says it is going to work because it doesn’t deprive us. The thing is, they DO deprive us! Who wants a bite of dark chocolate? No one. They want a brownie. Or two brownies. They want to eat their daily allotment sweet but then if someone makes cookies they want to say yes to one of those too!

What I have learned is this is ok and better than being “good” for days or weeks or months and then falling victim to the inevitable binge that will ensue because my mind is perceiving deprivation. God gave us beautiful foods like quinoa and spinach but He also gave us chocolate chip cookies and cheesecake and wants up to enjoy them in a healthy way. Thank you, Lord!

Maybe today celebrate God’s sovereignty with something you truly enjoy.

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Blessings,
Angela

 

Wednesday Write Life – Proverbs 10:22

Wednesday Write Life – Proverbs 10:22

Hi again!

Look at that! Here we are again at Wednesday Write Life!

Proverbs 1022

I came across Proverbs 10:22 this morning during my Bible time. The NIV Bible says, “The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, without painful toil for it.”

This verse made me think of my novel. The act of writing it just felt blessed by the Lord. Whether it is ever published or not, the experience of writing it was wonderful, therapeutic, and fascinating. There were several months where I had uninterrupted time to write and the ideas kept flowing and developing into what became a three hundred and thirty-three-page book that I couldn’t believe I had written! I truly view this as a gift from God in a time that my mind was in utter chaos at every other moment. The story was a mental vacation and writing the first draft was almost easy! Thank you, Lord for writing, words, books, and the healing that you bring through them.

Question:

Has something hard ever seemed easy to you? 

Blessings,
Angela

 

 

In The Kitchen

In The Kitchen

Good morning!

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I have been in the kitchen A LOT lately. In case you missed it, my approach to food and fitness has changed quite a bit and now I finally understand how so many of you find joy in cooking and what all this hype of Pinterest is all about. Haha!

Since I didn’t really know that I would be blogging about the things that I have been making, I didn’t think to take pictures until recently. Boo. 😦 So today I will just share some of my latest meals that go along with my comical “meal plan” that I shared last week. Most of these would fit under the “2 healthy meals category” but make no mistake, I have been baking up a storm in the indulgence department and will be sharing those things very soon!

Breakfast

Blueberry Banana Muffin Cups

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These muffins are such an easy and delicious breakfast. The kids love helping to make them and they are a great grab and go meal in the mornings. I found the recipe on everyone’s beloved Pinterest and have made them probably four times already. The recipe calls for one cup of brown sugar but I used half a cup and think this makes them the perfect amount of sweet. Feel it out!

Blueberry Chia Overnight Oats

I am no food photographer. 😦

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Overnight oats are another great breakfast for those of you who have no time in the mornings. Just stir your favorite add-ins to some uncooked oatmeal and almond milk and walla! I have always enjoyed overnight oats of any kind and this one is just a quick mix of things I had in the kitchen.

  • 1/2 cup quick oats
  • 1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
  • 3/4 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
  • 1 Tbs chia seeds
  • 1/4 cup blueberries (I used frozen)

Stir all ingredients together in a bowl (or jar if you are going to post it on social media ;)) Place in fridge. Go to bed. Wake up. Eat!

Lunch

Warning: SANDWICH KICK!

I have been on such a crazy sandwich kick lately. They are just an easy way to make a satisfying lunch and the combinations are endless!

Ham and Cheddar with JUST Chipotle Mayo

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The magic of this sandwich is the mayo! I found JUST Chipolte mayo at Publix and it’s probably one of the main reasons I am on a sandwich kick. I also really love this Knock Your Sprouts Off bread from Aldi.

Egg and Cheese

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I like breakfast anytime. So if you are in the mood for brunch, here is an easy one! Of course, coffee is a must with any breakfasty food.

Turkey Roll Up

Again, the magic is in the mayo. And I blog for free so you now I really like it.

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  • 1 tortilla
  • A few slices of deli turkey
  • Provolone cheese
  • JUST Mayo

Spead the mayo. Slice the cheese and lay across tortilla. Stack the turkey then roll it all up and pin with a toothpick. Easy!

PBJ

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Peanut butter and jelly is always a win. It’s so good with coffee! But what isn’t?

Dinner

Creamy Tomato and Spinach Pasta

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I hate that I just have this one thing to share because I have been having so much fun with dinner. Now that I know I will be blogging about my food adventures I will make sure to take pictures. Today I just have this one super delicious pasta that I made when Jason was out of town last week.

This pasta is easy to make and so delicious. I am not a huge meat eater lately so I had this as my meal but it would totally make a great side dish or you could throw some chicken in it for extra protein. I used gluten-free rotini instead of penne. It’s probably all in my head but I feel like rotini holds sauce better.

There you go! That’s all for this post. Stay tuned for more kitchen adventures!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Book Club

Monday Book Club

Hi Peaches!

Let’s share what we are reading lately. I love to read and now that this blog has become a hodgepodge of various things, a book club was bound to happen at some point. Please drop a comment on what you are currently reading and your thoughts on it below! Happy reading!

Monday Book Club

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Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus

So as most of you who read this blog know, I finally read the Bible cover to cover. After I finished the last page of Revelation, I figured the only logical thing to do was to begin again in Genesis and do it again. The New Testament is nothing short of amazing but if you haven’t spent much time in the Old Testament, you must! If your experience is anything like mine, it will greatly increase your knowledge of who God is and give you a perfect understanding of Christ! Now I am in the middle of the Numbers but I swear everywhere I go lately Proverbs is in my face so this morning I decided to make a stop in there. I’m so glad I did! How incredible is Proverbs 9?!

Wisdom has built her house;
    she has set up[a] its seven pillars.
She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine;
    she has also set her table.
She has sent out her servants, and she calls
    from the highest point of the city,
    “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
    “Come, eat my food
    and drink the wine I have mixed.
Leave your simple ways and you will live;
    walk in the way of insight.”

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults;
    whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;
    rebuke the wise and they will love you.
Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still;
    teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.

10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
    and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
11 For through wisdom[b] your days will be many,
    and years will be added to your life.
12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you;
    if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

13 Folly is an unruly woman;
    she is simple and knows nothing.
14 She sits at the door of her house,
    on a seat at the highest point of the city,
15 calling out to those who pass by,
    who go straight on their way,
16     “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
17     “Stolen water is sweet;
    food eaten in secret is delicious!”
18 But little do they know that the dead are there,
    that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.

 

The Harry Potter Series

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Believe me, I whole heartily believe that you are never too old to read the books written for the ages that we all fell in love with reading, but I write middle-grade fiction so I read middle-grade fiction. I read the first four books years ago but decided to read all seven from Sourcerer’s Stone to Deathly Hallows a few months ago. J.K Rowling is brilliant.

I am aware that some think the Harry Potter series should not be read by Christians. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I do not subscibe to this school of thought. I think the imagination is a beautiful gift from the Lord. He has built in us a wonderful means to escape the harsh realities of life. Thank you, Lord. Our children are smart and can discern the difference between reality and make believe just like we did when reading stories such as Alice Through the Looking Glass or The Lord of the Rings.

Anyway, whether you are fourteen or forty, I bet you will find this series highly enjoyable. GRYFFINDOR!!!

The Selection Series by Kiera Cass 

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I honestly downloaded The Selection onto my Kindle because I though the cover picture was so beautiful! If you love royals, love, and the fight for justice, this series is for you. It’s actually much like The Bachelor but if it was a bunch of girls trying to be chosen by a prince and win a spot on the throne as princess of Ilea. It sounds cheesy but it’s not. I thought it was a very great story and clean entertainment for those trying to keep thoughts pure. There are three books in the series; The Selection, The Elite, and The One. I highly recommend!

 

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke 

Another middle-grade goody, Inkheart is highly intriguing being the story of a father and daughter who are able to read characters out of books! But this novel is LONG. The first book is fifty-nine chapters and well over five hundred pages which I thought was insanely long for young readers. I am now reading the second book in the series, Inkspell, and it is even longer at a whopping seventy-seven chapters! But the story is a good one so if you have a child who is really into reading, this might be one they would enjoy. I did think there were parts that were pretty boring and could have been left out but what do I know?

That’s a wrap for this week!

Questions:

What are you currently reading and what do you think of it?

What are some of your all time favorite books?

 

 

 

 

 

The Fit Front

The Fit Front

Good morning!

I would like Thursday’s posts to be devoted to my fitness journey. Aside from my constant deviation from blogging, I am almost certain these posts will not be a constant on here. My fitness life has experienced a complete overhaul. There is no other word for my approach than “relaxed”.

Diet

I have to be honest. I have absolutely no desire to set any food rules for myself of any kind. None. No calorie counting. No portion watching. No good food. No bad food. Nothing. I have not felt this way since I was a kid. Seriously! Ever since this episode and everything following in the years afterward that reinforced the lies I was believing in my mind, I have not been able to enjoy a meal, healthy or indulgent, without thinking about how it is affecting my future.

I hate to say it because it is completely true, but I am honestly blown away by how healed I am. Why am I so surprised at God’s perfect healing? Gosh.

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I have been having the best time. I have finally been cooking! It’s so fun! I have made so many yummy things and the kids love to help. Even Anna, my almost two-year-old, loves helping. What a mess haha. I will share the recipes soon! Healthy banana blueberry breakfast muffins, baked oatmeal, dinner sheet pans, taco pasta just to name few recipes I have tried. So good! Cooking is such a relaxing pastime.

I know this is all a far cry from my former approach. In case you are just tuning in to The Keen Peach, for the past four years that I have been blogging, I have basically held the banner to fight for clean food, fight for your workout time, say no to all indulgences except for ones planned, and go against the flow of our junk ridden society.

This may work for some but for me, I would follow my rules for a while, then binge until food disgusted me. “Tomorrow was always a new day” but in reality, it wasn’t. It was just the beginning of the same stupid cycle.

My mindset now is this: there is a certain day that I will die. It is known by my beloved Creator and until then, here I am. How am I spending my time until then? Why am I doing what I am doing? My motives behind the way I ate and the time I spent in working out were to cater to lingering insecurities. (Please know I am not speaking for all fitness lovers. This is my personal story.) It is important to be healthy, but I was making it my identity.

The point is, I was missing out on so many important and joyful experiences because my motives were in the wrong place. Does this make sense to anyone?

I do actually follow a plan now but it is the most fun and I have been having the best time with it!

Enjoy this hilarious “diet plan”.

TKP Diet

🙂

Haha! The only reason for this “plan” is to give five exciting times a day that I can make and try something super new and delicious and make sure that I am getting some nutrients in there as well. 😉

Am I gaining a bunch of weight? No. Because I’m not binging. Do I feel yucky because of the indulges? No. Because I am not binging on them. What about a killer body? I don’t care about having a killer body. I care about other more important things. (Again, no offense to anyone. We all have our own ideas of what is important.)

Exercise

I do not get up to workout. Maybe one day I will but right now I don’t. Sleep is most important for me in having the energy I need to keep up with my duties. I sleep until 7:00 every morning. My exercise, for now, is keeping up with my kids, housework, and just having fun. If my day doesn’t involve a lot of activity, I welcome the break.

But for now, I am loving my “workouts”.

 

 

I hope all of you are well and are at peace with your body and approach to keeping it healthy!

Blessings,
Angela

Question:

Have any of you ever had a similar experience to mine? I would love to hear it! 

 

 

Wednesday Write Life – Guilty Pleasure

Wednesday Write Life – Guilty Pleasure

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Hi Peaches!

Happy Wednesday! I would like Wednesdays to be devoted to sharing my writing journey. We’ll see if that actually happens. I am definitely not known for my consistency with the ole blog. Sigh.

BUT today I am blogging and am in fact blogging about my journey so far in fiction writing.

In case you missed it, I wrote a book. It’s a middle-grade fantasy and that’s all I am going to say for now. I follow many authors who tell what they write about while they are writing the book and I just can’t do it! The story has been such an escape for me. A place I explored for two or three hours every day and found so many magnificent things. I have to admit, I am a little sad now that the last chapter is written. I can’t wait to finish all the editing and get it to wherever it’s going so that I can dive back into the magical world and discover what else it has to offer. The truth is I haven’t been able to keep from beginning the second book although I am not certain that the first will ever be published. I think that is what makes a writer a writer. They write. They must get the story out whether anyone will read it or not.

So that’s where I am at. I have written a book which I never thought I would ever do and it was a fantastic experience! No matter if the story is published or not, the fact is that writing it had to be done because the story was in me and needed to get out.

I do have to confess that I have guilt in beginning the second book without knowing if the first is going to be published. It’s the same guilt that all of us moms feel when it comes to doing anything for ourselves. If it doesn’t contribute to the family, it feels like an indulgence! Ugh! But the fact is, there are many moments in the day where I could be doing something constructive and I don’t. Why not take those moments and devote them to something I truly enjoy and that brings healing to my mind and spirit?

Yes, why not? I’m going to write the second book.

Questions:

Are you a mother with a hobby? What is it? 

Do you feel guilty about it? 

 

I Didn’t Know God. I Wasn’t Hearing God. Sadly, I Did Not Know The Importance of Christ.

I Didn’t Know God. I Wasn’t Hearing God. Sadly, I Did Not Know The Importance of Christ.

God told me

Good Morning Friends!

I have so much to tell you that honestly, I don’t know where to start. I am just going to type and pray that God sends the words through my fingertips!

Last year was a mess. Such a mess! It all started last April. I was expecting things to get really good. I had a vision board that I prayed over every morning. I had a plan, a vision, and was certain that it was God’s will and that I would be successful in my endeavor.

A man’s heart plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

And that is what happened. I had big plans but God had His own plan and that, thankfully, is what I lived out. But make no mistake, it was not in the least bit a blissful experience. No.

There were lessons that I needed to learn and healing that still had to be done. A LOT of lessons and healing. I have learned so many things this past year, more than can be told in a blog post. It’s the most important lessons that God was blatantly teaching that I am going to try to tell you about today. That so many times, when I had said God was doing something, He wasn’t. Because when God does something, it is perfect and unmistakably Him. That I needed to read and learn the actual Bible. I called myself a Christian all those years without wanting to hear from God! I would hear about God in sermons and in books about God but I was not hearing from God because I was not in his word, the living and active vessel of His voice.

Ok, let me slow down.

I Didn’t Know God. I Wasn’t Hearing God.

I have called myself a Christian for most of my life. I went to church, I did devotionals. I even listened to sermons online while doing housework. I read books about God. I listened to sermons about God. But I did not know God and I wasn’t hearing Him either because I was not fervently reading His living and active word.

We have all said, “The Lord told me…” or “I heard God say…”

But did He? Non-Christians have accounts of “gut feelings” telling them things that are extremely similar to the “God told me…” instances that Christians have. So is God talking to all of these people through their gut? Is that the way God tells us things? We just get a feeling? Thoughts pop into our minds telling us the right direction to go? No.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. Matthew 24:35

Even just typing Mathew 24:35 reminds me that just knowing Bible verses isn’t enough. Before actually reading the whole Bible, I thought that verse was talking about the end of the word. That after the apocalypse, the universe as we know it would be gone but the words of Christ would still be around. NO! It’s the new covenant! Christ died for us. Thank you, Lord! Then forty years later the temple was destroyed. This was heaven and earth for the Israelites. It passed away. The former dwelling place of God was gone and now Christ lives in the hearts of all those who love Him! And what do we still have externally? His words.

But I didn’t know that even though I had heard Matthew 24:35 many times. Without the context, I thought it meant something it wasn’t.

We must read the word. Pray that you absorb every fiber of it.

Unfortunately, not knowing the Bible wasn’t the worst of my problems.

Sadly, I Did Not Know What Christ Did For Me

This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.'” Zechariah 13:9

Because I was not in the word, I did not have a full knowledge of what Christ did for me in dying on the cross. Now I know how awful my ignorance was. Last April, it felt as if someone had picked me up and placed me in a terrible nightmare. I was literally fine one day and then consumed with paralyzing anxiety, fear, and obsessions the next! Over what? The fear of something terrible happening to my son, Ryan. I had previously dealt with postpartum anxiety so I expected it after I had my daughter, Anna. It came and with a vengeance. But why was my anxiety centered around my son this time? Shouldn’t I be having postpartum anxiety about the baby I just had?

Then on May 7th, I had a dream that sent me over the edge. I dreamed that my son was dancing around in the basement and then a huge vividly colored snake came out of nowhere and consumed Him but then spit him back out. Ryan then looked at me, he was dressed in white, and said “Look! I have a new body!”

So now, I realize that to you, this dream does not seem very scary except maybe to those of you who fear snakes. But to a postpartum anxious mind, already worried something terrible was about to happen, this dream was utterly torturous. For those of you who do not understand mental illness, I described the nature of OCD in this post. So many questions were racing through my mind. Why was Ryan eaten by snake? Why was he dressed in white? Did that mean that something terrible was going to happen to him and that he would end up in Heaven? Of course, we want our kids to go to Heaven, but hopefully after a long and fruitful life!

*Side note-This is a whole other post in itself, but clinical depression, anxiety, and OCD are mental illnesses. No matter what anyone thinks, it does not change that fact that the sufferer is rendered helpless. If you are unlucky enough to have not experienced the refinement that these disorders bring, please do not interfere with someone else’s refinement by telling them that it is just “mind over matter”. If you would like to sympathize with the sufferer, go slice your finger off. Now, think away the pain.

Do not think about the pink elephant.

(If you thought about the pink elephant, welcome to the human race.)

So in my postpartum anxiety/OCD, I was rendered paralyzed by the dream, wondering if this was a sign that all of my fears were going to come true. I began obsessively Googling postpartum anxiety experiences, dreams, and anything that might ease my mind. But as with all Googling, I only received more and more confirmation that Ryan’s end was near.

I was distraught. At this point, I no longer feared something terrible happening to Ryan, I believed something terrible was going to happen to him. I didn’t know when, I didn’t know how, but it was coming. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t think of anything else.

So I did the only thing left, I got on my knees and prayed for mercy. I prayed that God would not take him. I prayed and prayed and even fasted and prayed.

Months and months went by, I still had no peace. My anxiety grew worse and I began experiencing physical symptoms. I was constantly feeling like my legs were going to give out. I had to pull over on the side of the road to let my heart stop racing. I couldn’t make it through a shower without feeling like I was going to pass out.

I know this all seems crazy, and it was. It was utterly insane. But this is what I needed in order to understand what Christ did for me.

There came a point where I knew that there was nothing else I could do. If God was going to take Ryan, I could do nothing about it. Nothing. Even if I lived a sinless life, God is sovereign. He has a plan, a perfect plan, and my plans have no part in it.

This was unnerving in itself, but the fact was that  I had not lived a sinless life. I had lived a sinful life…and just how sinful I had yet to find out.

See, the fear of losing my son, drove me to find out what the Bible says about these kinds of things. Does God still give us dreams today? Does Christ’s death cover our punishment on earth as well or does it just get us to heaven? Funny how this suddenly mattered a lot to me.

Well, in reading through the Bible cover to cover, you pass through a little section called the Old Testament. Here, God’s wrath is displayed. His wrath came to those who did exactly the things that I had done. I had not done them once, but many times. The more I read, the more all of my sins came to the surface of my mind and I was nothing less than repulsed by myself! But it was the story of David and Bathsheba that brought me to nothing. David sinned with Bathsheba and their baby died as a result. I was divorced. I had my son with my new husband. David was a king chosen by God. There was no hope for me! I deserved the worst of punishments and the punishment that David and Bathsheba received was, in my mind, the worst. I was terrified. I cannot tell you how terrified.

Now, I know to those of you who are not Christians, this makes no sense. But to those of you that are, my goodness, this is God! This is how God speaks to us. Do you understand? I deserve the worst to happen to me… but God sent Christ. His son. To die instead.

The New Testament came and I cannot tell you how thankful I was for it! Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection had never made more sense and I had never been so thankful for anything in my life! Thank you, Christ, for your mercy and grace and for taking my punishment! You are the Good Shepherd who lies me down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. You refresh my soul! You guide me along the right path for YOUR NAME’S SAKE.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

He has brought us peace. I will never forget the morning that I read about the woman and the alabaster jar.

A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. Luke 7:37

Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; GO IN PEACE.” Luke 7:50

Tears!! Tears of thankfulness and joy. Thank you, Christ, for saving me! Though I am saturated in my sin, you let me go in peace!

How in the world did I go so long without reading the word of the Lord? I am so grateful to God for driving me to it! I learned the most important lesson I would ever learn.

But then, to my surprise, there was more.

He Truly Healed Me

For four years, I have been blogging about healthy eating and exercise. I was doing so much better than I had been, worlds better, so I thought I was healed. But now I know that I was still in bondage. I still had fears of gaining weight. I still had many food rules and my identity wrapped up in my appearance. I was afraid of letting go. Even though I didn’t know I was still sick, I didn’t want to be better!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

I cannot tell you how true this verse is. When you truly know the love of Christ, you are changed. You are different! And there is no way to keep it to yourself.

What I was so afraid of letting go, was keeping me from experiencing so much joy. This past weekend, my dad was so wonderful to take us to Great Wolf Lodge. It was such a blast! The kids had the time of their life and I was so grateful to God for healing me. I could finally just swim with them, eat with them, act crazy with them, and all of that fun stuff that I was too worried about my image before to truly enjoy. It is the strangest feeling to not have an ounce of worry or anxiety in me or a care for what others think. But that’s not all! My mind is free, and a love of writing and cooking has blossomed. As you know, I spend a lot of time writing fiction and now I even cook with the kids! I was never able to enjoy cooking because it centered around food. All of this is such a lovely bonus because, truly, coming to know who Christ is and the significance of his death and resurrection bring me joy than I could have ever thought possible.

So… Was The Dream From God? 

Now, when I think about the dream that spurred all of my anguish, I realize that it was from God. Not in a prophetic, tell the future kind of way, but it was what my Bible illiterate, insecurity riddled, secretly horoscope believing, feeling and thought driven mind needed to send me running and screaming into his infallible and unfailing word.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

But since my natural OCD mind still wants to give meaning to the dream, if anything, I was Ryan. The snake was the year of suffering. The new body was the new creation that I am now in Christ.

Thank you, Lord.