VIDEO: Do Not Worry…Seek First!

Good morning!

If you are a Christian who suffers from anxiety, you have more than likely been sent Matthew 6:25 (Do not worry about your life…) If you are like me, and only ended up feeling worse after reading it, join me in reading on in Matthew 6 to the verse below it that we MUST read first.

Do Not Worry…Seek First!


Beauty for Ashes

Beauty for Ashes.png

Hello Friends.

When doing research for these posts, I came across this article.

The article summarizes and lists the symptoms for OCD. As I read through the symptoms, I thought about how strange recovery actually is even though wonderful at the same time. Though our thoughts eventually become so torturous we have no choice but to seek help, for much of our life, the obsessions and compulsions aren’t torturous and are just our world. When our eyes are opened to reality, it can be uncomfortable, even alarming. The realization that what we have been thinking and feeling for so long is not reality is no doubt a jostling experience. So today, for those you who are experiencing this right now, here is the beauty for the ashes.

OCD Symptom:

  • fear of contamination from germs, dirt, poisons, and other physical and environmental substances

Beauty for Ashes:

  • You have learned that feelings are not facts, no matter how intense they are. Many never learn this extremely important lesson.

OCD Symptom:

  • fear of harm from illness, accidents or death that may occur to oneself or to others. This may include an excessive sense of responsibility for preventing this harm

Beauty for Ashes:

  • The only way to banish a fear is to face it head-on. Those of us who have suffered from OCD have to do this daily due to the overwhelming belief that these terrible things in our minds are inevitable. Every day, we live life “knowing” that tragedy is on the horizon. While this is definitely a horrifying and exhausting experience, there is such a brilliant light at the end of the tunnel.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
Proverbs 31:25

OCD Symptom:

  • intrusive thoughts and images about sex, violence, accidents and other issues

Beauty for Ashes:

  • We learn the discipline of taking our thoughts captive. We learn what thoughts are from the Lord and what thoughts are from us; which thoughts are worth our attention and which thoughts aren’t. Again, a crucial lesson some never get to learn.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

OCD Symptom:

  • excessive concern with symmetry, exactness and orderliness

Beauty for Ashes:

  • We become disciplined in not being led by strong urges. Thank you Lord, for teaching us self-control.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11

OCD Symptom:

  • excessive concerns about illness, religious issues or morality

Beauty for Ashes:

  • Due to our affliction, we are hopefully running to our Lord. We fall to our knees before him and are drawn into his glorious word. And He refines us.

It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.  Psalm 119:71

OCD Symptom:

  • needing to know and remember things.

Beauty for Ashes:

  • You learn and retain A TON of information about so many things and become that friend everyone wants on their team for board games. Haha!

Friends, whether you are in the struggle or struggling with the time lost from it, there is good in it all. The time was actually not lost at all, you were being refined. Today, reflect on the beauty that has come from the ashes.


VIDEO: Actually… John 15:16

Good morning!

Here is this week’s Actually. I am reading John 15:16 in its context to see if we will really get whatever we want if we ask for it in Jesus’s name.

I say 17 in the video but I mean 16! Oops!

Actually…John 15:16





A Tale Of Two Lives

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!  2 Corinthians 5:17

What I have come to realize in my thirty-five years on this earth is that this proverbial “normal” that we all think everyone else is, does not exist. If you are messed up, congratulations, you are normal. Everyone one has problems, everyone has things they have to work through. Everyone.


If we are in Christ, we really are a new creation. We will still have troubles, we will still sin, but our heart will be different. Christians, is this true for you?

Before I was a new creation, I thought I was. I believed that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins so according to my pastor at the time, that made me a new creation in Christ. There was just one not-so-small problem. I was exactly the same as I was before. For those of you who are new to the blog, my “before” was filled with vulgarity, dishonesty, addiction, and a pathetic longing for approval that I was willing to get at any cost. I was this way before I was a Christian…and after.

Why? Because though I believed in God and believed that Christ died for my sins, I did not know the depth of my sin and just how much Christ had saved me from. I never really read the Bible but I listened to sermons telling me how to live my best life, I read Bible verses encouraging my endeavors and made sure to have a quiet time with a feel-good devotional and a prayer asking God to bless me. Other than that, I was perfectly fine with dressing and talking provocatively, “accidentally” drinking until drunk, and gossiping was my absolute favorite pastime. Seriously! The new creation in Christ must just be that once we believe we don’t go to hell because of how terrible we are.


But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.  Luke 8:15

I had postpartum depression and anxiety after both of my pregnancies but the worst was after my second. I was overwhelmed with the constant thoughts that something awful happening to my son. No matter what I did, the thoughts came back. Night and day I worried. I felt like I was walking around in a constant nightmare. I was always scared, I was always sad. I cannot stress to you the constant terror that I felt. But this was good.

It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.  Psalm 119:71

It was only when I was hit with the worry of something happening to my son that I finally opened to the Bible to see what God had to say about my plight. I decided to start in Genesis and read until I felt better.

I did not feel better. Not at all. I felt much, much worse.

As I read through the Old Testament, my eyes were opened to just how much God hates sin. The things that I brushed off daily because “everyone does it” were absolutely disgusting in the eyes of God. As a professing Christian, my heart loved the world. And as a professing Christian, my heart was repulsive in the eyes of God. If the terrible feelings I was having were God telling me that I was about to be punished severely, I certainly deserved it.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.  Revelation 3:16

My eyes were now open to the fact that the punishment for sin really is death. Christians, have you ever stopped to think about that? What we actually deserve. I grew up in the 90’s and early 2000’s. “I deserve it!” was practically our anthem! But no, what we deserve is something really awful. Awful, just like our hears.

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
Jeremiah 17:9

Needless to say, I had never been more thankful for the words of the New Testament. For Jesus! When I finally got to the New Testament, I loved every single thing I read about the Lord. He is God. The one who hates my sin. He came to earth, He lived a life without sin, and then took the punishment that I am now fully aware that I deserve.


I will never forget reading about the woman who washed Jesus’s feet with perfume. My attention was caught when I read that she lived a sinful life.

A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume.  Luke 7:37

That was me! I had lived a sinful life. A very sinful life. More sinful than I even knew! And I knew a good bit.

But then came the end of the chapter…

Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
Jesus said to the woman, Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Luke 7:48-50

Your sins are forgiven! Go in PEACE!

I cried. After a life of spitting in His face, He did not repay me with what I deserve. He blessed me. Who loves like this? No one, but our Lord.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.

I tell you all of this because I know there are many out there like I was, saying you are a Christian but living like the world. You have to know that when we are a new creation in Christ, we really are different. You don’t even have to try, you just change. Of course, I still sin but I am changed. The desires of my heart are nothing at all like they were and I’m telling you that is a miracle. I am so thankful for what Christ has done and I want to live my life in a way pleasing to him because of how thankful I am. He truly saved my life!

Be honest with yourself today. Are you sure you are a new creation now that you are in Christ? If you are, the desires of your heart will agree.


Has this happened to you? Please please share!!!





There is Peace in the Pasture


Good morning!

If there is one thing that has been burned into my mind throughout my crazy OCD journey it is this…

There is peace in the pasture.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.[a]
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness[b]
for his name’s sake.
Psalm 23:1-3

Us humans, we love to try to be the shepherd right? Who doesn’t want to be in charge and not have to answer to anyone? Let me tell you who. You.

Think of a shepherd with his sheep in the pasture. The sheep have everything they need. They have food and water, there is a fence to keep them safe. They have everything they need because of their shepherd who watches over them.

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  John 10:11

Jesus is our good Shepherd. We are His sheep. If you are having a hard time accepting that, I’m telling you, there is NO peace in trying to be your own shepherd. You will find peace as a sheep. And it really is a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7

What is keeping you from submitting? Is it pride? You just want things your way? Friend, here’s your sign, you’re doing yourself in. Is it fear? Are you afraid that if you submit you will not enjoy God’s will? I thought that too! But you can’t let that hold you back. Seriously. No matter what it is. Remember Abraham.

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied.  Genesis 22:1

Just do it. Just call to God and say “Here I am!”

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’  Jeremiah 33:3 

Today, just surrender it all. Be a sheep. There is peace in the pasture.