Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – April 28th, 2017

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – April 28th, 2017

Happy Friday Challenge Queens!

FRIDAY FOR THE WIN!!!

Everyone share your wins from the week!

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge!

I can’t wait to hear your wins! Scale, non-scale, the whole shebang.

My win this week IS weight related and it is that I am the lightest and smallest that I have been since before I had my 4 year old! It’s nuts!!! High five yall!

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Here’s today’s food and my workout was 21 Day Fix Extreme Yoga. Nutritional yeast! Yummy yummy yummy.

Questions:

What are your wins from the week?

What did you eat today?

What did you do for exercise?

Have a great start to your weekend everyone!

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – April 27, 2017

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – April 27, 2017

Hiiiii!

Ok so continuing on with our themed days, THIRSTY THURSDAY! Because sometimes you just want something more than water.

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge!

What do you drink when you want a little something more than water but want to keep it healthy?

We all know I love these. So does Anne and I’m pretty Mary too. But I tried a new flavor! It’s pretty good! My favorite is still Lavender Love though. I am trying to figure out what that is in the bottom right corner of the picture. I thought it was a tiny hand but now I’m not sure haha!

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Hmmmmm….. what could it be?

Here’s today food and workout!

Food was the SAME as yesterday so I will use yesterday’s Picmonkey. 🙂 Workout was 21 Day Fix Extreme: Dirty 30! Owie owie owie.

Don’t forget to send me pictures of your journey! coachangel7@gmail.com

This isn’t the Angela Teal show!

Questions:

What is your favorite healthy beverage?

What did you eat today?

What did you do for exercise?

Until next time!

*If you are just tuning in, we are doing a summer ready challenge that runs until the first day of summer June 21st, 2017. You are welcome to join now or at anytime until then! The sooner you start the more time you have to be your best self by summer. Post your healthy food and workout here for accountability or I can help you come up with a plan for success if you need one. Just email me at coachangel7@gmail.com!

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – April 26, 2017

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – April 26, 2017

Hey Yall!

Today was weird, but not bad! It’s just that every now and then Anna will revert back to her newborn habits. We were up a 4am, then I took a nap at 7am. It just makes the day weird. I would have gotten up for the day but I stayed up way past midnight. Never fails, you stay up late, they wake up early. Sigh.

Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge! 

How can we make this challenge more fun? I know! We can go back to a theme for each day of the week. What’s today? Wednesday….. Hmmm. Workout Wednesday would be good but I took my rest day today so let’s make it….. Wednesday Words! Share some inspiration! Verses, favorite quotes, etc.

This is an oldie but goodie and the reason why I love you ladies and the ladies in my Beachbody life!

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I can’t wait to hear what you ladies come up with!

Here’s my food and today was a rest day!

Questions: 

What are your Wednesday Words?

What did you eat today?

What did you do for exercise?

Until tomorrow! Later Skaters!

*If you are just tuning in, we are doing a summer ready challenge that runs until the first day of summer June 21st, 2017. You are welcome to join now or at anytime until then! The sooner you start the more time you have to be your best self by summer. Post your healthy food and workout here for accountability or I can help you come up with a plan for success if you need one. Just email me at coachangel7@gmail.com!

Discipline Training – Part 2 (Part 2)

Discipline Training – Part 2 (Part 2)

Hello again!

Here is the third and final installment in my Discipline Training Series! If you haven’t read Parts 1 and 1 of 2, here they are!
Discipline Training Part 1
Discipline Training Part 2 (Part 1)

This time segment is the darkest part of my life and I am sharing only because there are so many lessons to be learned from it. So many.

Discipline Training – Part 2 (Of 2)

When I was 20, I met the man who would become my first husband. He was not charming, he was not a nice guy, he was not even my type. But he also did not appear to be impressed with me at all………..so of course that’s the one I go for.

First let me make it clear that I am not writing this as a victim. Everything that happened I could have at any point made the decision to not have happen. But I didn’t do that and that is why I suffered these consequences.

So in this Discipline Training series, I have shared how I gained some discipline out of sheer fear in high school and then I gained some discipline as well as work ethic at Waffle House. Now, I will share something that is very hard to share.

I was 25 in this picture. It is much different than the others. And it could not be more deceiving.

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First of all I look amazing. Second I look very happy. And third, I appear to be the picture of health. Not too skinny, not too heavy.

Well my friends, let me just set the record straight in this land of smoke and mirrors.

I never once saw myself as this amazingly beautiful person.
And what you don’t see is a picture of me with my head in the toilet everyday.

Fact: Most bulimics appear to be perfectly healthy. It really is true that it is what is on the inside that counts!

I have never looked back at this time and thought to myself that I was a victim because I know I was not. Everything was laid plainly before me and I simply chose what I knew was the wrong choice. But it was the choice I wanted.

Although I had gotten to a somewhat happy place, I still had disorder burning inside me. When I met my ex-husband, I knew he didn’t like me or care about me but I  had something he wanted and he had something I wanted and so the partnership began. To keep peace, I am only sharing my consequences that occurred as a result of me making decisions that I know tons of us are faced with . I am hoping that some of you in these situations heed my warning! When you finally grasp what you are wanting to obtain, there is no reward.

As you know, it was a rough road to 20. I had learned some things but I was still irresponsible, erratic, and far from disciplined with anything other than just going to work and coming home. The weight pendulum had swung yet again and I was binge eating all the time. I smoked, ate terribly, and never exercised. I just couldn’t seem to get it together and break out of my rut. He had all these things that I did not have. He was extremely fit and extremely disciplined in everything in his life. I knew better, but I wanted that life for myself so I fulfilled my end of the bargain. My end was being in agreement to the fact that whatever I did was fine as long as it was acceptable to him. Brown hair was not acceptable. Being overweight was not acceptable. Going certain places was not acceptable. Keeping certain friends was not acceptable.

This is what I am ashamed of the most. I have done many things that are blatantly shocking to the average ear. Not only am I not sharing those things out of respect for my family, but the things that I look back on with the most painful regret and deep deep sorrow are the people that I chose my own selfish desires over. Because of my own selfishness, this time I was the jerk. I chose my own wants over my friends and even my family. And I am crying as I write because my best laid plans failed miserably and I will never get that time back but I am sharing because I know that I am not the only one. I know there is a 20 year old girl out there who is in pain and who is thinking she is doing something good for herself when in fact she is pushing her loved ones aside to step into a fire.

After a year and half the fire came. I was stunned when he asked me to marry him. I said yes. And people, I said yes only because I was afraid to say no. I knew better. I am no victim, I chose to walk into this fire simply because I was afraid to say no.

There are so many of you about to walk into the fire simply because you are afraid.

We had a beautiful wedding. I had relatives fly in for it. I was a wreck. I will never forget the last night that I spent in my apartment, I thought my chest was going to cave in.

Then we were married, and I became a prisoner. Look, this marriage was a three ring circus, but the important thing to know is that my life was not mine own anymore. Aside from the house, I could go to work, the grocery store, and to the gym. I had no money that I didn’t have to ask to get, I could no longer make any decisions for myself. Again, there was no forcefield keeping me only in these places but I know I am not alone in the brainwashing that occurs in these types of relationships. And that is why I am sharing. I had this fear of leaving. As horrible as life was inside those walls, I believed that if I left that I would not be able to make it on own. That I would go back to being irresponsible, erratic, and undisciplined. And here lies the lie. The things that I thought I was ridding my life of were only magnified! After a while, I went completely off the deep end, I was getting up at midnight to workout before work then throwing up my food literally all day long after work. I even missed work sometimes due to the fact that I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck all the time! The eating disorder that had always been there was now running rampant in the chaos.

After a few years of life in this marriage, and executing miserable day after miserable day, I got exactly what I set out to get. I was disciplined in the things that I had to do in that house. I no longer had a spending habit. I was disciplined in my workouts, and with my eating disorder raging I had the “perfect body”. I have never in my life received so much praise from others and questions on how I obtained my look. And here lies the lie the we believe in this world of smoke and mirrors.

This never got better. Things never changed for the better. I finally got to the point that I was just sick of not making my own decisions and left with nothing and continued to fall of the deep end even for years afterward.

And then finally one day God lifted the veil from my eyes.

This story doesn’t end with zero to hero. I am not now this wise woman dealing out my advice to you all. And I am definitely still not successful as it is usually defined. But God has blessed me with a second chance when I did not deserve one. A good guy, two beautiful kids to take care of and watch grow, and many many lessons learned.

This is certainly the rich life. And I wish it for all of you.

Discipline Training Part 2 (Part 1) – Waffle House

Discipline Training Part 2 (Part 1) – Waffle House

Good morning!

First, I cannot say thank you enough for all of your kind and loving words that so many of you gave yesterday in response to Discipline Training Part 1. I am so glad to share my story if it helps someone but man does it stir up so many feelings! I probably cried no less than 25 times yesterday. I cried as I wrote the post and I cried each time I read your sweet comments and messages!

Ok, Part 2. Well, Part 1 of Part 2 haha. As I was reminiscing last night, I realized that the last 10 of the 30 years was a LONG long story. And also, I have to begin it in the second 10! So here, let me just throw the whole “3 10s” idea out the window and pick up where I left off yesterday. Also, I realized there is no way I can pack all of the events that occurred into these blog posts. So I am just going to discuss the most important events that contributed to what I call my “discipline training”.

Discipline Training Part 2 (Part 1)  – Waffle House

If you didn’t catch Discipline Training Part 1, read it here!

So we left off with me leaving home and leaving high school to start my life in the real world. Mind you, I had no car and no money. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car that my dad got me anymore after I was caught skipping school, plus it was broken down anyway due to my fabulous driving skills at the age of 16. When I left home, I moved into this girl’s apartment who I knew didn’t really want me there but it was a place to go so there I went. Next, I needed a job and one that paid more than the $5.25 an hour I was making at Great Clips. I figured my best bet was to get a job as a server to make tips, but I was 16 and at that time you couldn’t serve alcohol until you were 18. Waffle House didn’t serve any alcohol. And I loved cheesy eggs! So I filled out an application. If you are reading this, and you need a job, Waffle House will  hire you. If you have a pulse, Waffle House will hire you. I had no interview, I just got the job and was told to show up for training on Monday. I had no idea what I was in for. The most difficult job, yet the most important to my journey.

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Fun fact: As a Waffle waitress, you don’t have to pay for any of the awesome foods at Waffle House like waffles, hashbrowns, and cheesey eggs. I blew up like a balloon! Finally a few years in, I figured out how to eat healthy with the free food there. 5 egg whites scrambled with half a slice of cheese and steamed hashbrowns please!

I learned life at Waffle House.

At this point, I have worked many crazy places in my life but Waffle House is hands down the craziest. The first week I remember thinking it would work. I was put on night shift since I was new which was hard because I wasn’t used to staying up all night nor being on my feet for ten hours. Ugh, my feet! And it was weird waiting on the public. Some people were really nice….. and a lot of times too nice. But then some were just mean and rude. But I remember being so excited that I made $50 in one night. That was more than I made in a whole week at Great Clips! So that first week, I waited on my tables, made my money, sweetly said goodbye to the first shift waitresses in the morning, and went home. After a full week of this, one morning I grabbed my things to head home and one of the first shift waitresses stopped me and proceeded to rip me a new one……

See, I had been serving the customers, getting my tips, and going home. I figured they hired someone else to do the dishes, sweep the floors, clean the windows, clean the bathrooms, restock things, and everything else. Surely that was not my job.

Oh yes it was my job. And I had not been doing it. I was humiliated when the first shift waitress yelled at me in front of everyone and also enlightened to the fact that this job was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I had to wait on these tables AND clean the tables AND clean the dishes AND a whole bunch of other things! This job was NOT for me. So I went home, and didn’t come back to work the next day and definitely planned on never returning again. The next day my boss Samantha called the apartment probably 50 times and then SHOWED UP at the apartment to take me to work! I was shocked! I couldn’t believe she came to the apartment to get me! I didn’t answer the phone, how did she even know I was home? But I reluctantly got my stuff and went to work with her and suffered through the next several weeks as I painstakingly subjected myself to the horror that was Waffle House waitressing. No one cared that I was pretty, no cared about my feelings, no cared if I was tired or not in the mood to work. They didn’t even care when I lied and said I was sick! I had to work. And I worked there every night kicking and screaming (literally). I hated every. single. minute.

But I am so thankful for Waffle House.

First of all, if you can serve at Waffle House, every other place you wait tables will seem like a breeze. And yes, I have waited tables many places since. But second, no other job would have put up with my crap the way Waffle House did. I had ZERO work ethic. No one else would have kept me as an employee. I had the absolute worst attitude. I whined constantly. I was the worst the employee they had by far. As I type this, I am having so many flashbacks of a super packed restaurant with overwhelmed me just sitting at the low counter smoking a cigarette because I couldn’t take it anymore. Have you ever had slow service at a restaurant? Makes you mad right? Imagine seeing your server sitting and smoking at the table next to you while you continued to wait for your food! Another time (of many times) overwhelmed me decided she had had enough of the stupid customers and in screaming frustration slammed her way to the back room wear she threw the biggest fit that quieted everyone in the restaurant. When I was done with my fit, I returned to an empty store. 😦 I was the biggest baby!

Anyway, unfortunately, me being a baby was just the first of a multitude of humiliating endeavors that was my life at the Waffle. This is a book in itself. But I wish this for all of you! That YOU could humiliate yourself so many times that it seizes bother anymore haha! I’m serious! It’s one of the biggest blessings that one could ever have happen to them!

Then about 6 months in, I met another Waffle House employee named Terri. Terri was and is the definition of “old soul”. I was 17 and she was 19 but she had already been married for 6 months and was one of those people who is just motherly by nature. She was nothing short of a gift from God in my life back then and I still will never forget what she did for me as long as I live. We became friends and she took me under her wing. She had a car and gave me a ride home everyday. This was nice because up until then I was just depending on rides from various people and when no one could take me home I had to sleep at work 😦 ……. and then they would make me work! Haha! So many times on this blog I have mentioned my favorite quote, “Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are.” Terri taught me this. She helped me through the times when I would get overwhelmed and freak out in the rushes, she showed me how to get everything done efficiently so that I wasn’t running around like a maniac, and she even helped me to set up a bank account and save my money for a car! My life was so much easier with a car! So many possibilities! Haha!

But Terri was not afraid to let me have it. I needed this. She always called me out when I was being a baby (this was still often). I didn’t like hearing it but I respected her so I did listen to what she would tell me most of the time. She is such a wonderful person for helping me to at least take hold of the ropes of life. I definitely didn’t have control of the horse but at least I was finally holding the ropes!

As time when on, Terri and I worked together a lot and became best friends. Then she became a manager and I pretty much followed her around and worked in every store she managed. Thanks to her, I became a pretty great waitress and got to be on first shift which is the fastest and best shift at Waffle House. My original plan of working at Waffle House for 6 months turned into 6 years! In this time, I would work other jobs along with it. Sometimes three jobs at a time! Waffle House and Terri had taken me from the whiny girl with the short temper and no work ethic to handling the crazy Waffle shifts and working some side jobs as well and being kind happy about it. I had a long way to go, but this experience was definitely a gift from God to help me make my way in the world.

It felt good to work hard.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Part 2 where things take a wrong turn and misery teaches me many lessons.

To be continued!

Discipline Training Part 1

Discipline Training Part 1

Good Morning!

Well the kids both have colds so we are missing church.  So what better time to write than this rainy Sunday morning?

I have been wanting to write on this for a while and am never quite able to find the right words without sounding bitter. I am not bitter although the memories definitely still have quite the sting to them but God has taken something bad and made it good and in that I have great joy. I also do not want to sound conceited because I am pretty sure that some of this will sound that way, hopefully you will hear my heart!

I am disciplined in my fitness lifestyle. And this is not the only thing that I am disciplined in. I am disciplined in many things actually! I know that people mean it as a compliment when they say to me “I wish I had your discipline!” But they do not know what in fact made the discipline. I am 34 years old so I will break down my life into 10s to discuss the making of said discipline. Part 1 is the first two 10s and Part 2 will be the third 10.

Enjoy! Or don’t! Haha

Discipline Training Part 1

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Years 1-10: I was an overweight kid. I did not know that I was overweight until I was told by other kids. See, as a kid, you don’t know how to eat healthy, you don’t know about exercise, you don’t know about calories and overeating and all these things. You just live life. So that’s what I was doing and was soon informed that I was doing it wrong. Also, no one informed me that there were certain ways to do your hair and certain stores you were supposed to shop at for your clothes. So I just wore what I was given to wear. If you ask me, there needs to be a list sent out of these things to save many children from the ridicule experienced when they forgo these things. Sure, it is a great thing to be yourself but when you are young girl being judged for none other than exactly that it tends to sway ones perspective. Kids can be mean, and obviously those kids were not informed to not be jerks as I was uninformed to look like everyone else! But there comes a point where the judgement and unkind words build and build and build, and then there is a day where the straw breaks the camels back…

Fun fact about the outfit pictured on the left, the shorts matched the top exactly! And they hair style to the right I like to call The Triangle. 🙂 

Years 11-20: I was in 8th grade. This particular year, there was another middle school built so some of us went to the new school and some stayed at the old school. I went to the new middle school and my already small group of friends was cut down to two girls who I sat with at lunch everyday (Thank you Blair and Rachel). My birthday is December 20th, the last day of school before winter break. Being that it was right before winter break, Blair and Rachel were absent from school to begin the vacation early. I sat in our same spot where we always sat at the lunch table but this day I was alone. This was uncomfortable but fine. But then a guy with his friends decided that this was a perfect place for them to sit today. So he asked me to move. I looked around at the table and saw no more empty seats. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know where I would sit. He started yelling loudly at me and hurling insults at me which made the lunch room quiet down to watch him berate me for not moving quickly enough. With everyone watching, the room was spinning, I couldn’t speak or think of what to do. This only made him yell more. Finally, like a beautiful angel, one of the most popular girls in the school came over and shut him down and saved me. She sat with me the rest of lunch. I didn’t stop crying for the rest of the day and it even makes me cry now just because I remember feeling so helpless in that moment. Of course now looking back, I am able to see that he was just a jerk but in the moment the pain was excruciating. I also know that absolutely no one in that room remembers this day, but it is definitely a birthday I will never forget.

So I went home and did the only logical thing (sarcasm)…….. I went home to make myself likable. It was the 90’s, so I had mom buy me only “fat free” foods to eat, I started running outside, slapped some make-up on the best I could, and my dad took me to Lord and Taylor to get some new clothes! I had never gotten clothes from a place like that before! I felt fancy for sure. Two weeks later when it was time to return to school, I had lost eight pounds! With my new weight loss, make-up, and clothes, everyone was astonished! Compliments started flowing and people were actually nice to me! I couldn’t believe what a difference it all made!

And my eating disorder was born.

I became obsessed with the beautiful girls in magazines. I studied every little inch of them to duplicate for myself. Pretty much all of my time out of school was spent working out, learning about healthy eating, and fixing myself to be presentable to the masses. Aside from the obvious, the thing about using all of your time to perfect yourself means you pretty much have no time for anything or anyONE else. And to be quite honest, I had no interest in being friends with anyone because it left open the opportunity to experience horrific humiliation again and I definitely did not want that.

All was well in my world as a freshman high school. I was a size 2. I made sure to stay pretty so people were nice to me. I kept to myself so that I was protected from pain. I had complete control over every single thing in my life and it felt amazing. I was not the best student but that was the least of my worries. At least I was not subject to humiliation anymore in the hell world called school. All was well until one day when when my parents caught onto the fact that I had an eating disorder after taking me to the hospital because I couldn’t stay awake with a heart rate of 33 beats per minute. Mom took me to a councilor and a nutritionist who told me what can happen to people with an eating disorder. I was scared and didn’t want to die so I did what they said but I had no absolutely zero balance. I only knew how to be fat and skinny! So I ended up swinging to the other end yet again gaining around thirty pounds. I was terrified of school. Terrified. The comments started coming again and I just wanted to die. When I was 16, a lot happened. I got a car, my parents divorced, and I quit school.

After the weight gain, I couldn’t bare the thought of being bullied again. In fact, I wasn’t going to let it happen. Now that I had a car and didn’t have to worry so much about getting into trouble with my parents, I saw a way to escape and took it. Each morning, I drove to school, waited for my mom to get to work, and then went back home. I had no desire to go out and get into trouble, I just wanted to be away from school. Needless to say my already terrible grades went to beyond terrible and of course, after a while the school notified my mom that I had been missing so much school.

But I was not going back. And now on top of the fear of being bullied, there was no way I was going onto the next grade AND now my mom and I had a terrible relationship. So one morning, soon after the school called my mom, I was sitting in homeroom and made the decision to leave home and Duluth High School and enroll in the School of Hard Knox. And oh did life get interesting.

To be continued!

It gets so SO much worse! But then it gets so SO much better. 🙂

And if you would like to skip ahead to see how it all ends check out this post!

**Update! The next two parts of the story are finished! Check them out below!
Discipline Training Part 2 (Part 1)
Discipline Training Part 2 (Part2)