First, I cannot say thank you enough for all of your kind and loving words that so many of you gave yesterday in response to Discipline Training Part 1. I am so glad to share my story if it helps someone but man does it stir up so many feelings! I probably cried no less than 25 times yesterday. I cried as I wrote the post and I cried each time I read your sweet comments and messages!
Ok, Part 2. Well, Part 1 of Part 2 haha. As I was reminiscing last night, I realized that the last 10 of the 30 years was a LONG long story. And also, I have to begin it in the second 10! So here, let me just throw the whole “3 10s” idea out the window and pick up where I left off yesterday. Also, I realized there is no way I can pack all of the events that occurred into these blog posts. So I am just going to discuss the most important events that contributed to what I call my “discipline training”.
Discipline Training Part 2 (Part 1) – Waffle House
If you didn’t catch Discipline Training Part 1, read it here!
So we left off with me leaving home and leaving high school to start my life in the real world. Mind you, I had no car and no money. I wasn’t allowed to drive the car that my dad got me anymore after I was caught skipping school, plus it was broken down anyway due to my fabulous driving skills at the age of 16. When I left home, I moved into this girl’s apartment who I knew didn’t really want me there but it was a place to go so there I went. Next, I needed a job and one that paid more than the $5.25 an hour I was making at Great Clips. I figured my best bet was to get a job as a server to make tips, but I was 16 and at that time you couldn’t serve alcohol until you were 18. Waffle House didn’t serve any alcohol. And I loved cheesy eggs! So I filled out an application. If you are reading this, and you need a job, Waffle House will hire you. If you have a pulse, Waffle House will hire you. I had no interview, I just got the job and was told to show up for training on Monday. I had no idea what I was in for. The most difficult job, yet the most important to my journey.
I learned life at Waffle House.
At this point, I have worked many crazy places in my life but Waffle House is hands down the craziest. The first week I remember thinking it would work. I was put on night shift since I was new which was hard because I wasn’t used to staying up all night nor being on my feet for ten hours. Ugh, my feet! And it was weird waiting on the public. Some people were really nice….. and a lot of times too nice. But then some were just mean and rude. But I remember being so excited that I made $50 in one night. That was more than I made in a whole week at Great Clips! So that first week, I waited on my tables, made my money, sweetly said goodbye to the first shift waitresses in the morning, and went home. After a full week of this, one morning I grabbed my things to head home and one of the first shift waitresses stopped me and proceeded to rip me a new one……
See, I had been serving the customers, getting my tips, and going home. I figured they hired someone else to do the dishes, sweep the floors, clean the windows, clean the bathrooms, restock things, and everything else. Surely that was not my job.
Oh yes it was my job. And I had not been doing it. I was humiliated when the first shift waitress yelled at me in front of everyone and also enlightened to the fact that this job was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I had to wait on these tables AND clean the tables AND clean the dishes AND a whole bunch of other things! This job was NOT for me. So I went home, and didn’t come back to work the next day and definitely planned on never returning again. The next day my boss Samantha called the apartment probably 50 times and then SHOWED UP at the apartment to take me to work! I was shocked! I couldn’t believe she came to the apartment to get me! I didn’t answer the phone, how did she even know I was home? But I reluctantly got my stuff and went to work with her and suffered through the next several weeks as I painstakingly subjected myself to the horror that was Waffle House waitressing. No one cared that I was pretty, no cared about my feelings, no cared if I was tired or not in the mood to work. They didn’t even care when I lied and said I was sick! I had to work. And I worked there every night kicking and screaming (literally). I hated every. single. minute.
But I am so thankful for Waffle House.
First of all, if you can serve at Waffle House, every other place you wait tables will seem like a breeze. And yes, I have waited tables many places since. But second, no other job would have put up with my crap the way Waffle House did. I had ZERO work ethic. No one else would have kept me as an employee. I had the absolute worst attitude. I whined constantly. I was the worst the employee they had by far. As I type this, I am having so many flashbacks of a super packed restaurant with overwhelmed me just sitting at the low counter smoking a cigarette because I couldn’t take it anymore. Have you ever had slow service at a restaurant? Makes you mad right? Imagine seeing your server sitting and smoking at the table next to you while you continued to wait for your food! Another time (of many times) overwhelmed me decided she had had enough of the stupid customers and in screaming frustration slammed her way to the back room wear she threw the biggest fit that quieted everyone in the restaurant. When I was done with my fit, I returned to an empty store. 😦 I was the biggest baby!
Anyway, unfortunately, me being a baby was just the first of a multitude of humiliating endeavors that was my life at the Waffle. This is a book in itself. But I wish this for all of you! That YOU could humiliate yourself so many times that it seizes bother anymore haha! I’m serious! It’s one of the biggest blessings that one could ever have happen to them!
Then about 6 months in, I met another Waffle House employee named Terri. Terri was and is the definition of “old soul”. I was 17 and she was 19 but she had already been married for 6 months and was one of those people who is just motherly by nature. She was nothing short of a gift from God in my life back then and I still will never forget what she did for me as long as I live. We became friends and she took me under her wing. She had a car and gave me a ride home everyday. This was nice because up until then I was just depending on rides from various people and when no one could take me home I had to sleep at work 😦 ……. and then they would make me work! Haha! So many times on this blog I have mentioned my favorite quote, “Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are.” Terri taught me this. She helped me through the times when I would get overwhelmed and freak out in the rushes, she showed me how to get everything done efficiently so that I wasn’t running around like a maniac, and she even helped me to set up a bank account and save my money for a car! My life was so much easier with a car! So many possibilities! Haha!
But Terri was not afraid to let me have it. I needed this. She always called me out when I was being a baby (this was still often). I didn’t like hearing it but I respected her so I did listen to what she would tell me most of the time. She is such a wonderful person for helping me to at least take hold of the ropes of life. I definitely didn’t have control of the horse but at least I was finally holding the ropes!
As time when on, Terri and I worked together a lot and became best friends. Then she became a manager and I pretty much followed her around and worked in every store she managed. Thanks to her, I became a pretty great waitress and got to be on first shift which is the fastest and best shift at Waffle House. My original plan of working at Waffle House for 6 months turned into 6 years! In this time, I would work other jobs along with it. Sometimes three jobs at a time! Waffle House and Terri had taken me from the whiny girl with the short temper and no work ethic to handling the crazy Waffle shifts and working some side jobs as well and being kind happy about it. I had a long way to go, but this experience was definitely a gift from God to help me make my way in the world.
It felt good to work hard.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of Part 2 where things take a wrong turn and misery teaches me many lessons.
Well the kids both have colds so we are missing church. So what better time to write than this rainy Sunday morning?
I have been wanting to write on this for a while and am never quite able to find the right words without sounding bitter. I am not bitter although the memories definitely still have quite the sting to them but God has taken something bad and made it good and in that I have great joy. I also do not want to sound conceited because I am pretty sure that some of this will sound that way, hopefully you will hear my heart!
I am disciplined in my fitness lifestyle. And this is not the only thing that I am disciplined in. I am disciplined in many things actually! I know that people mean it as a compliment when they say to me “I wish I had your discipline!” But they do not know what in fact made the discipline. I am 34 years old so I will break down my life into 10s to discuss the making of said discipline. Part 1 is the first two 10s and Part 2 will be the third 10.
Enjoy! Or don’t! Haha
Discipline Training Part 1
Years 1-10: I was an overweight kid. I did not know that I was overweight until I was told by other kids. See, as a kid, you don’t know how to eat healthy, you don’t know about exercise, you don’t know about calories and overeating and all these things. You just live life. So that’s what I was doing and was soon informed that I was doing it wrong. Also, no one informed me that there were certain ways to do your hair and certain stores you were supposed to shop at for your clothes. So I just wore what I was given to wear. If you ask me, there needs to be a list sent out of these things to save many children from the ridicule experienced when they forgo these things. Sure, it is a great thing to be yourself but when you are young girl being judged for none other than exactly that it tends to sway ones perspective. Kids can be mean, and obviously those kids were not informed to not be jerks as I was uninformed to look like everyone else! But there comes a point where the judgement and unkind words build and build and build, and then there is a day where the straw breaks the camels back…
Fun fact about the outfit pictured on the left, the shorts matched the top exactly! And they hair style to the right I like to call The Triangle. 🙂
Years 11-20: I was in 8th grade. This particular year, there was another middle school built so some of us went to the new school and some stayed at the old school. I went to the new middle school and my already small group of friends was cut down to two girls who I sat with at lunch everyday (Thank you Blair and Rachel). My birthday is December 20th, the last day of school before winter break. Being that it was right before winter break, Blair and Rachel were absent from school to begin the vacation early. I sat in our same spot where we always sat at the lunch table but this day I was alone. This was uncomfortable but fine. But then a guy with his friends decided that this was a perfect place for them to sit today. So he asked me to move. I looked around at the table and saw no more empty seats. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know where I would sit. He started yelling loudly at me and hurling insults at me which made the lunch room quiet down to watch him berate me for not moving quickly enough. With everyone watching, the room was spinning, I couldn’t speak or think of what to do. This only made him yell more. Finally, like a beautiful angel, one of the most popular girls in the school came over and shut him down and saved me. She sat with me the rest of lunch. I didn’t stop crying for the rest of the day and it even makes me cry now just because I remember feeling so helpless in that moment. Of course now looking back, I am able to see that he was just a jerk but in the moment the pain was excruciating. I also know that absolutely no one in that room remembers this day, but it is definitely a birthday I will never forget.
So I went home and did the only logical thing (sarcasm)…….. I went home to make myself likable. It was the 90’s, so I had mom buy me only “fat free” foods to eat, I started running outside, slapped some make-up on the best I could, and my dad took me to Lord and Taylor to get some new clothes! I had never gotten clothes from a place like that before! I felt fancy for sure. Two weeks later when it was time to return to school, I had lost eight pounds! With my new weight loss, make-up, and clothes, everyone was astonished! Compliments started flowing and people were actually nice to me! I couldn’t believe what a difference it all made!
And my eating disorder was born.
I became obsessed with the beautiful girls in magazines. I studied every little inch of them to duplicate for myself. Pretty much all of my time out of school was spent working out, learning about healthy eating, and fixing myself to be presentable to the masses. Aside from the obvious, the thing about using all of your time to perfect yourself means you pretty much have no time for anything or anyONE else. And to be quite honest, I had no interest in being friends with anyone because it left open the opportunity to experience horrific humiliation again and I definitely did not want that.
All was well in my world as a freshman high school. I was a size 2. I made sure to stay pretty so people were nice to me. I kept to myself so that I was protected from pain. I had complete control over every single thing in my life and it felt amazing. I was not the best student but that was the least of my worries. At least I was not subject to humiliation anymore in the hell world called school. All was well until one day when when my parents caught onto the fact that I had an eating disorder after taking me to the hospital because I couldn’t stay awake with a heart rate of 33 beats per minute. Mom took me to a councilor and a nutritionist who told me what can happen to people with an eating disorder. I was scared and didn’t want to die so I did what they said but I had no absolutely zero balance. I only knew how to be fat and skinny! So I ended up swinging to the other end yet again gaining around thirty pounds. I was terrified of school. Terrified. The comments started coming again and I just wanted to die. When I was 16, a lot happened. I got a car, my parents divorced, and I quit school.
After the weight gain, I couldn’t bare the thought of being bullied again. In fact, I wasn’t going to let it happen. Now that I had a car and didn’t have to worry so much about getting into trouble with my parents, I saw a way to escape and took it. Each morning, I drove to school, waited for my mom to get to work, and then went back home. I had no desire to go out and get into trouble, I just wanted to be away from school. Needless to say my already terrible grades went to beyond terrible and of course, after a while the school notified my mom that I had been missing so much school.
But I was not going back. And now on top of the fear of being bullied, there was no way I was going onto the next grade AND now my mom and I had a terrible relationship. So one morning, soon after the school called my mom, I was sitting in homeroom and made the decision to leave home and Duluth High School and enroll in the School of Hard Knox. And oh did life get interesting.
To be continued!
It gets so SO much worse! But then it gets so SO much better. 🙂
This week was nothing short of crazy but I am still going to share a win right along with the rest of you haha!
Everyone share your wins from the week!
Lean, Mean, and Squeaky Clean Challenge – For the Win!
My win is that I finally figured out my 21 Day Fix container plan! Haha! I definitely should have prepared more. First, I had to figure out what I was going to do for vegan proteins then after a few days of starving to death and then eating my house I realized I was following the wrong plan! See, I have this thing with directions……I don’t like to read them……
Anyway, NOW I am all set and good to go! So my win for the week is that I finally figured everything out. 🙂
My other win should be that I learned to read directions but I am certain that this did not occur.
Here’s today’s food and workout was plyometrics!
How did you win this week?
What did you eat today?
What did you do for exercise?
Have a great start to your weekend ladies!
*If you are just tuning in, we are doing a summer ready challenge that runs until the first day of summer June 21st, 2017. You are welcome to join now or at anytime until then! The sooner you start the more time you have to be your best self by summer. Post your healthy food and workout here for accountability or I can help you come up with a plan for success if you need one. Just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!